The month of May has always been a happy time of year for me. In the past, that was usually because of finishing a school year or being excited about the fast-approaching summer. As of a couple years ago, though, the start of May represents the beginning of my husband’s and my anniversary month!
Not too much changed when we got married, since we were together for nearly 7 years (2 of which were long-distance) and had lived together for 3. But one thing we have started doing over the past 2 years of marriage is establishing more traditions together.
I discovered this idea of “monthly date nights” years ago on a blog I used to read. When I proposed it to Matt not too long ago, seeing if he’d be interested in starting the little ritual, he was on board!
Here’s how it works: Every month, you and your partner take turns planning a date night for each other. Ideally, you set up a section of the day or evening dedicated to activities the other person would like. You can then choose to surprise them or not with the date night festivities.
Matt and I sometimes give each other hints, but we usually like to surprise each other because it adds to the fun.
I love this monthly tradition because it’s an excuse to do something fun for the other person and try new experiences with each other. Our date nights usually revolve around dinner (usually a new place we want to try), and then some sort of activity. In the past, this has included things like miniature golf, a drive-in movie, walking on the beach, going to a brewery, and so on.
Our life right now is pretty simple because we don’t have a lot of responsibilities outside of work, so we don’t have much issue finding an evening each month to take the other one out. But I know this won’t always be the case, which is why this “monthly date night” phenomenon is really just…do what you can with the time and resources you have.
It can be as simple as just cooking dinner for the other person and actually sitting down together to enjoy it (without the TV on or phones nearby). Or some other ideas: a movie night in (with snacks, of course), froyo for dinner, picnic at a park, going to watch a local sports team, sitting down for a coffee date, wine and cheese night, building a fort in the living room (growing up is overrated), etc.
And if you’re in a long-distance relationship (even if it’s just temporary), you could maybe….schedule a long phone chat to quiz each other about your interests and aspirations, go on a virtual date night via video chat so it’s almost like you’re together, or if you can’t predict when you can talk…write each other a letter and promise to read the other’s at the same date/time while in a similar setting (like eating dinner or being outside soaking up the sun).
Here are my tips for ensuring a monthly date night happens and making the most of it:
- Pick a date at the start of the month (doesn’t have to be set in stone) and establish whose turn it is to plan it.
- Think about what your partner would like to do, rather than what you are interested in.
- Don’t get overwhelmed with making it over-the-top; sometimes the best dates are the simplest.
- Break away from what you’d normally do and try something new together (e.g., new type of cuisine or a local attraction).
- Despite whether you go out or stay in, remember the whole point is to spend time with each other and take a break from the stress of anything else that’s going on in your lives.
By forcing in a date night each month, regardless of how busy your weeks are, it’s nice to have that “mini event” to look forward to. I highly recommend making it a routine, like we try to do (though we’ve definitely missed a month here or there). It’s such a simple way to hit pause on the noise of everyday life and focus on each other if only for a little bit.
Do you and your partner go on dates very often?
What do you usually want in a date night?
